Sifting through old unread messages in my gmail account,
I came across a link that my adopted Uncle (Mr. Beckley) sent me.
http://www.tangle.com/view_video?viewkey=849dc7c803281df74bb2
It featured a skit about how difficult it would be to chisel out everything that is wrong and unGodly out of our lives. It got me thinking...how much would I have to "chisel" out in my life? Sometimes I worry if there would be anything left...
It's scary to think how much I would need to take out of what I consider "me". It's scary to see if anything recognizable of "me" would remain. The skit assured that what would be left would be an original masterpiece. The masterpiece that God intended for us to be when he created us.
I place "me" in quotation marks, because I wonder if this "me" I think I am is my old or new self, or some combination thereof? Have I truly died to my old self? Should I really hold onto these features or parts of what I have accepted to be my personality if they are not of God?
I feel that one of the biggest thing I struggle with when trying to get closer to God is fear of losing myself. I'm afraid that I won't be the Original Paula that I've grown to like over the years if I relinquish these bad things and personality traits in my life.
But if you really think about it...that's stupid. Why wouldn't I want to be a better me?
Why wouldn't I want to leave my old crappy self behind?
But I guess if it were easy, it wouldn't be that big of a deal.
Love,
Pj
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Good Questions!!! Why do we settle for so much less than the Designer of our souls intends? He has the Highest plan, is willing and able to carry it out, and deserves all the credit for His work.
ReplyDeleteLetting go is easier than holding on, even in this context. Although chiseling is painful, it is needed and liberating. Not yielding to the chisel results in far greater consequential pain.